Love? What for?
The MAGIC Framework to nurture your Love.
Not long ago, my dear friend Dana Alhanbali invited me for a conversation on her stimulating podcast, “Something To Consider.”
The topic? LOVE!
With her signature eloquence and grace, Dana breathes life into abstract ideas and dares to question our firm convictions. I invite you to listen to or watch this episode, where we uncover an unusual perspective on love that’s worthy of your reflections.
Why Love? And why do we need it?
Love, a perpetual intrigue to poets, philosophers, and scientists alike, is not a mere emotion or an abstract concept to dissect and analyze. It is a profound, existential human necessity. As humans, we need to seek and gain values that ensure our survival and enable us to flourish. Love, particularly Romantic Love, stands high on our pedestal of values.
Love infuses vibrancy into our lives, fuels our souls, and gives us purpose. However, like all values, their efficacy hinges upon our philosophical evaluation and application. Thus, love has the power to ignite our view of life or reduce it to ashes.
During our discussion, I shared a new perspective on love — and a Framework on why we need it. I call it: ‘The MAGIC of Love.’ (I promise there’s nothing magical about it and no hocus-pocus ideas).
I sincerely hope it will provide strategic direction in your quest for love.
Mirror: The need for psychological visibility.
Your beloved is your psychological mirror, reflecting your genuine self. When you introspect, you can see what you are made of — your values and virtues, choices and actions. But, you need to witness the tangible manifestation of those values and virtues within another person.
That’s why you choose to love them: for the style of their soul — the character they’ve achieved within themselves. Your lover shows you that your beliefs and view of life aren’t just figments of your imagination but that they exist; they’re attainable and are yours to cherish.
When last did you witness your deepest values mirrored in another?
Ambition & Admiration: The need for reverence.
Love is a mutual hero-worship, an aspiration to be admired for your authentic self and the individual you aspire to be. It demands high standards, especially in matters of values.
The moment you begin to look down on your Lover, the flame of your relationship starts to flicker. The betrayal of their ‘I’ destroys your respect for them. Now, this doesn’t mean we should always be perfect to deserve love. Humans have free will and are fallible. We all stumble, err, and seek forgiveness. But, ask yourself: Can you love someone who’s constantly betraying their values and is unwilling to correct their character flaws?
To fuel love’s flame, reverence must never wane.
Take a moment to identify and vocalize your admiration for your partner — for they deserve to hear it, and you deserve to see it.
Growth: The need to flourish.
Love stimulates all facets of growth — emotional, intellectual, and spiritual — nudging us to fulfill our potential. Imagine a partner who demeans you, thereby tarnishing the self-esteem you have cultivated. Or, the worst kind is the lazy bum who lives in a state of dependency on you — not merely material, but psychological. Those are the parasites of the spirit.
Love, in its proper meaning, helps you extend yourself and your lover; it straightens your intellectual posture while filling you with the emotional experience that makes life worth living.
Beware those who fear growth — often, they envy yours.
Intimacy: The need to be touched.
Besides force, the most powerful way to control people is to shape their view of sex. Throughout history, societies have been concerned with sexual behaviors; they injected guilt and sin, transforming sex into a dirty yet necessary evil for procreation only. This point requires a separate article, but ask yourself why? One way to look at it is that sexual pleasure is not a luxury; it’s a profound psychological need that shapes your moral code. Your view of sex and how you perform it is the concretization of your whole philosophy of life.
Sex isn’t merely a physical act, and definitely not an aftermath of a disagreement. It’s the crescendo of minds and bodies, a celebration of values, self-esteem, and the pride of two souls intertwining, just enough to create a joyful experience without dissolving your unique identity.
Furthermore, intellectual intimacy plays a crucial role in fostering a healthy relationship. Observe the conversations you share with your partner — are they mere exchanges of the mundane and banalities, or do they enrich your soul?
Your beloved is the one who touch this irreplaceable, unrepeatable YOU!
Currency: The need to exchange values.
In the business world, money is the currency of exchange. In the realm of love, the currency of exchange is values.
Fundamental values, like honesty, integrity, justice, rationality, and liberty, to name a few, guide us through life, fostering mutual connection and alignment. Your values are the treasures you choose to share with another.
Does a thief have anything to offer you? No. He wants to take what’s yours. Does he have anything to trade with you? No. He points his gun and demands your money or your life!
A person devoid of values, who refuses to cultivate virtues, is a spiritual thief. They have everything to gain from you — your emotional investment, benevolence, ideas, and the love they can never earn — while offering nothing in return.
They don’t need a gun; they rely on your sanction to demand your love — and the best of your life.
As I said during my conversation with Dana:
You can’t find love until you become what you wish to find. That becoming is the process of earning your “I.”
By then, you are too proud to be taken for granted.
This article is but a prelude to the enriching conversation between Dana and me. I’m so grateful for her invitation, friendship, and all the comments we received from our audience.
I encourage you to listen to our dialogue in Episode 9: To Love, of “Something To Consider,” available on all podcast platforms and YouTube.
Please share the MAGIC Framework with your beloved.
Talk about it, reflect, and grapple with it. You may kindle a new flame and uncover hidden truths that only you can hear.
Apple Podcast:
https://podcasts.apple.com/ae/podcast/something-to-consider/id1674861838?i=1000613848172
Spotify:
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Leopold is a Creative & Strategic Consultant and a Public Speaking/Communication Coach. He’s the Founder of Novel Philosophy, a professional coaching academy for future leaders.
Additional Resources:
Check out Leopold’s Podcast: Ideas On Trial.
Read this recent article on the art of clarity: Decoding Clarity
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